# Value yourself enough to take your life seriously
A number of women do notice that there is a pattern in the “types” of men they attract. This is not surprising from a psychological perspective. Freud called it the “repetition compulsion”. We have experiences in our early life which tend to be repeated throughout our lives unless we decide to do things differently. This takes concerted effort and awareness and usually we need some professional assistance to rewire the neural pathways in our brain and to learn to make changes.
This involves unpacking the stories we tell ourselves and the meaning we have made of our experiences. It involves being prepared to look at some of the (possibly unconscious) patterns of attachment and behavior that we have used as an adaptive mechanism which may have served us well in the past but which now serve only to act as a barrier to us getting the love we want.
So, my single most important advise to women in this category is to see a counselor or psychologist to develop awareness about their behavior in order to facilitate change. It may be the most rewarding thing you do for yourself. Value yourself enough to take your life seriously. Be proactive about getting help from an expert to move you past this pattern of attraction so that you can really attract the partner you deserve.
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