- Express Gratitude and Appreciation: We all get caught in habitual patterns that prevent us from seeing and appreciating the good things in our lives. This is especially true in long-term relationships and partnerships. Commit to seeing/looking for the good in your partner and to expressing this on a regular basis. Try relating to each other with fresh eyes. Every day is a new day, a new opportunity for new beginnings and for seeing the good.
- Be quick to repair when there is a breach in your connection together. Don’t wait for the other person but rather be the one to build a bridge and turn the difficulties into opportunities.
- Refuse to criticize, complain or condemn: this just breeds more and more negativity and gets us caught in cycles of defensiveness, blaming and withdrawal.
- Invest time and energy in your relationship: you get what you give. Relationships work like a bank account, you need to make regular deposits, building good memories, fun times and a sense that you are there for each other as well as sending the message: you are important to me and you matter.
- Turn towards each other rather than away from: even when there is conflict and disagreement be prepared to hang in there to work things out and if you can’t do this, be prepared to get help, early. Most people wait too long before seeking help, head problems off, before they become entrenched.
- Make your relationship a safe haven: listen well, fight fairly, take care of each other’s vulnerabilities. Good relationships offer a sense of security and well being that benefits families and communities as well as your health and happiness!
- Don’t make your own behaviour dependent on your partner’s behaviour. Never let another person’s bad behaviour be an excuse for your own. Take responsibility for what you can change.
