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It’s all About the Questions We Ask!

By Margie Ulbrick Leave a Comment

Melbourne couples counsellor and marriage therapyWe all know how easy it is to feel like a victim and to rant and rage at what’s not fair in life. We have mostly all experienced at some stage betrayal, abandonment and suffering that causes us real pain. It’s so normal in these circumstances to be angry, to blame others for what they have done to us, to become indignant and self-righteous as we go deeply into our story of how others treat us bad!!

However, what if it were all  completely perfect? What if we were co-creating our own situations based on deeply buried past experiences of trauma, rejection or neglect in order to bring it all to the forefront of our conscious minds so we could heal the past and not be driven by it without our awareness?

It is normal and necessary to feel the pain, hurt, bitterness, frustration and sadness of our situation. By all means feel it, go right into it and get to know every angle of it, but don’t stay there! Look closely at what comes up for you, what feels familiar, and ask good questions: what could I need to learn from this situation, what is it that I’m not getting or seeing that this keeps happening?

What do I need to let go of and disconnect energetically from in order to not attract this particular pattern in my life?

Where might I be building on the story and causing myself more pain than I need by making wrong interpretations of others’ behaviour or putting things into the story that are not really there? Is it possible that I have added to the drama by having unrealistic expectations or by demanding that things be different from how they are? Is it possible to reframe the situation with this new knowledge in the light of having gratitude for the way things have played out absolutely perfectly so that I could have gotten the maximum learning I needed from this life lesson?

For more valuable advice or to make an appointment  for counselling or psychotherapy in Melbourne, please call  Margie on  0403 814 477.

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: personal growth, reflections, relationships

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Empower-Mindful Relationships-cvr-v3 with blurb

A practical guide for using mindfulness to enrich relationships and effectively manage stresses associated with conflict. The authors explore how we can use mindfulness to develop a more compassionate, friendly relationship with ourselves and others; communicate more effectively; reduce defensive patterns; and work effectively within couples, families and workplaces. Case studies highlight key principles, while practical exercises enable the reader to develop their mindfulness skills.

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About Margie Ulbrick Relationship Counselling

Margie Ulbrick relationship counselling provides psychotherapy services for relationships, stress management and happiness. Margie Ulbrick Counselling offices are based in East Malvern, Melbourne and service the surrounding areas of Chadstone, Glen Iris, Armadale, Ashburton, Malvern, Carnegie, Kew, South Yarra, Toorak, and East St Kilda. Read more about Margie Ulbrick Relationship Counselling.

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