# A good relationship is one where both parties are capable of being independent and inter-dependent

Many people are aware that they have baggage from a previous relationship and do not want to carry that like a dirty old smell around with them forever! But nevertheless some people do seem to rush headlong into a new relationship often later recalling they were “on the rebound”. So it can be a fine line and sometimes the right person seems to come along at the wrong time.

It is such an individual thing and there are no hard and fast rules. But it may help to be aware of a few important pre-requisites for forming healthy relationships. That could serve as a bit of a small checklist as to readiness to enter another relationship. A good relationship is one where both parties are capable of being independent and inter-dependent. That is, they can stand on their own two feet and can also share their lives in a way that doesn’t overwhelm either of them but that is supportive and nurturing for both.

It’s also good to have been able to reflect honestly on why the previous relationship ended and to ask: “What did I learn about myself? Where are my strengths and weaknesses in relationship? Am I too self centered and too prone to acting unilaterally without consideration for my lover/partner or am I clingy, needy or too dependent, too easily swayed and not able to stand up for my own needs? We all are capable of many behaviours depending what our triggers are, so it can help to know our own vulnerabilities and to be aware what our growth edge is.

Lastly, am I really over my last relationship or have I just buried the pain, loss and grief? Do I feel ready to enter a relationship and do I have something to bring or am I just trying to fill a hole and cover up some emptiness? Relationships are all about growth so it’s good to bring some self-awareness into your next relationship! That way it can be a real adventure!